Tired of writing
I guess just for today
Here I am, here I go
wait umma need that 3rd coffee
okay, did a lot of reading instead
cool and fun I guess
Trying to enjoy my own company
Today is different
Past days have been different
I am not with you
One day with me is enough, for a week or two
I guess just for today
Here I am, here I go
wait umma need that 3rd coffee
okay, did a lot of reading instead
cool and fun I guess
Trying to enjoy my own company
Today is different
Past days have been different
I am not with you
One day with me is enough, for a week or two
Trying to find purpose in these sounds, pages and words
Sometimes her words
Sometimes it works
Other times I need a reminder that I may have you waiting still
How much longer?
Will you wait
Will this pass
It has to, I have to get up
It’s almost July 1st
I feel undeserving of this life
Life of constant suffering, unfulfilling days
With highs that others abuse to get near to
Sometimes her words
Sometimes it works
Other times I need a reminder that I may have you waiting still
How much longer?
Will you wait
Will this pass
It has to, I have to get up
It’s almost July 1st
I feel undeserving of this life
Life of constant suffering, unfulfilling days
With highs that others abuse to get near to
Depressive and manic episodes, boring/judgement people would say
I know I'm not the same person I was
Should be thankful, I'm not but
The human in me haunts me about it
I’m sorry family and friends but I will see this through
With or without
I will do my part and hope you understand and do yours
I am a stranger
You are everything I see and think of
I hate it
I hope you find a hacker, if you have your doubts
Self sabotaging is my favorite pass time
Lack of self respect but still demanding it
I couldn’t hate myself any more
Knowing I am forgiven isn’t enough
I know I'm not the same person I was
Should be thankful, I'm not but
The human in me haunts me about it
I’m sorry family and friends but I will see this through
With or without
I will do my part and hope you understand and do yours
I am a stranger
You are everything I see and think of
I hate it
I hope you find a hacker, if you have your doubts
Self sabotaging is my favorite pass time
Lack of self respect but still demanding it
I couldn’t hate myself any more
Knowing I am forgiven isn’t enough
I need to deprive myself of everything I love
Even U
I need to talk to you, I know it
Human in me says I'm not worth having contact with him
But you say otherwise
How could you?
Even U
I need to talk to you, I know it
Human in me says I'm not worth having contact with him
But you say otherwise
How could you?
No how could I
Not accepting your gift to humanity
Your gift to me
I am not the first sinner or anything
It may not be anything to my friends, chill out bro
I love them for that but
It means everything to me
Only when it comes to you...
Not guilt but shame, knowing better
The knowing is I am the greatest and there is no room for failure, only improvement
I need to be ready for what is yet to come
I will not speak or feel like this again
A promise that no human can make
hold up let me reconnect to know what He wants me to think, say, do
hold up I have 90 more pages left on this book
hold up let me finish up this song, it just need some drums maybe another pedal too
hold up let me finish these drawings, gonna need some unreleased shh soon
hold up let me finish listening to this album, yea umma need the vinyl
I'll finish it today
I was born in the right generation, age of Grace
Thank you Grace.
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