Monday, May 12, 2025

Field Notes From The Empathetic Psycho


Hope you know what your words mean
By the way you're using them right now
I know you do  
I've grown tired of your feigned attempts of questioning the validity of my devotion 
To my life, my Lord and ones that truly love me
Show yourselves 
So I won't have to hurt the people you possess 
You say they allowed themselves to be use
I say lack of experience & knowledge    
I'm 
Dancing and laughing with them  
I feel bad cause now I'm laughing at them 
Let me stop
Wait what's that you threw at me this time
Positivity? A compliment? Acknowledgement? 
Purposely or accidentally
Looking past this vessel that one day my soul will out do?
Oh but now you see I do that on the daily
Now you see 
Til the sound around blinds you once more 
I placed traps, wires and presidential tint in a instant
Never do that again if you're excepting something in return 

you talk about change 
but i don’t think you really get it 
ask someone that everything about themselves 
change 
each day they wake up 
except the routine they try to align themselves with 
I use to let
outburst of chems spill all over my brain from all ends of the world, ones never meant for me
Love?; Self-loathing. Mercy & Forgiveness?; Despair. Grace?; Hopelessness.     
how long will it last 
just the car ride to work? 
will the hours speed on by?
or will be stopped and examined 
minute by minute 
how long will it last
the hours to break the routine have fallen upon you
Now how will you use them today 


Having to be so merciful/ruthless to your children
nobody can fathom it 
the power bestowed …. no 
given? you granted yourself? 
who would take up such a position as you
not even the people that wish to be like you 
can wrap around the idea of being
having to be perfect all the time 
pressure from all corners of your creation 
who knows 


problem being an empath 
you can feel their thoughts 
their facial expressions 
certain eyes have a gaze that feels like
i shouldn’t have never seen that 
others are begging for more 
i don’t know which i despise more 


chipping down their walls 
if any 
my mind does the heavy lifting 
overdrive if they blurt something out 
tones, cracks in their voice, stuttering


not holding on to compliments 
they can easily turn into knives afterwards 
letting them steep their way as far as 
I let them in


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Field Notes From The Empathetic Psycho

Hope you know what your words mean By the way you're using them right now I know you do    I've grown tired of your feigned attempts...