10:02AM, Sunday. This is the latest I've woken up in a while now. I was like a child last night, overindulging on my phone; underneath my freshly washed fur blanket. Satisfying my brain rotted child-like humor but of course staying true to him by revisiting all the important battles of The Great War. Always trying to put myself in the boots of those brave men, some willingly giving their youth to something they thought had meaning. Others forced to forever be remembered as the 20-something year old that got knocked out the map with only 3 kills... Convincing myself that I probably am crazy enough to run out to no man's land; when given the order. Thinking no bullet would graze me while watching my comrades get mow down with a machine gun by another 20-something year old, maybe even younger. That I would even be able to pick my feet up, deep in the mud after days of rain. Hoping I don't fall into a mine or barbed wire. Well I was named after my great grandfather after all. "Okay, on to the second world war." Falling asleep to "World War 2 in HD Colour". Waking up like those sailors at Pearl Harbor to my new alarm; that's been ringing for the past 2 minutes. I was only trying to study the history of my destination. What a great way to study and get to know a place am I right? By its past conflicts and beliefs. Don't get me wrong it is important to know, some people do need that reminder of the horrors committed by the Nazis nowadays.
2:01PM. I turned in my assignment, I had gotten side-tracked but managed to be done just in time. I finally got the chance to show off my new camera that I had bought a couple months back, it's nicer than I expected. Just wait until I use it for my next campaign. Patience I remind myself. At the same time, the burning desire to execute every idea that comes to mind; sits below me while I'm sun gazing. I will lay in between both for a while today. I was reading of a young lady's life til I heard the DJ start playing some feel-good music at the park today. Putting a stop to my reading. Wishing I can go join in on the fun; show my support and be apart of my community. All I can give is a moment of silence; disturb and study from a far. Hearing them have their fun with the children running on the field. Playing their field games for prizes. I let the moment consume me, letting their happiness fill mine up. Coming back to my reality; looking up to the one tree always watching me coming in and out of conscious. Always attempting to give me shade as I hang on this hammock like a dead body. Sometimes I love my small towns, 15 mins away from my city. I always wonder how I'm going to feel when I leave this place. Right now; I'll miss it. Fun wild people that have your back no matter what, until they don't. I hope they know I have them in my heart and pray the best for all. God Bless America.
8:08PM. "The concert starts at 8PM." "We'll make it on time she has an opener." Tonight I'm in the back already tipsy with my two favorite freaks! My sister and her boyfriend; which is my best friend. My two favorite people that I love to bother and be their third wheel. Nothing beats being with them. We're on our way to see one of our (my) favorite artist. The task was simple, enjoy yourself. Opener was great and the people were bots. She had hit the stage with the band and started her first song. My sister and I were the only ones standing up singing along, so she told the crowd they could stand too. It was all the rave until she started to play the one album nobody talks about much; "the mature album".
10:38PM.
here I am
Being myself
Knight in the night
Just happy to see everyone else having their fun
Besides me
Enough to kms
I had fun
just the thought of you
with someone else
do you hate me?
I wrote in the mist of fans; opera goers; a couple phantoms. I hadn't seen them at all during the show. It was like watching a whole parade come out and go into their party bus. Some of them saw me and invited me into the bus. "Sorry I'm waiting on my friends." After about what seemed like an hour, they came out. Couple people were still lingering around, packing some of the band's equipment into the vans. "Sorry she had a little too much to drink." We had drank the same amount. "Let's get something to eat I know a spot near here." We made our way there; to one of the worst wings I've had. Says a lot in this city; famous for our wing spots. None of us finished our meals. They were both trying to figure out what had gotten into me all that time while they were gone. I revealed another embarrassing truth. "I've been charmed..." I still hadn't told them... Where I'll be, same time tomorrow. Instead I read them this poem; an attempt to stop myself nodding off like a fiend...
Grey skies
Feel at home
Rain cooling me down
Look up till I permanently get monochromatic vision
Till my friends wonder where I am
or the color maker comes bursting though the thick wall of stillness
Bringing noise to my moment of silence
Giving me life and health
Alone like always
oh how I love it
Until I'm reminded how much of a good friend I can be
Till I'm reminded how much of a good partner I can be
Reminded how great I am
Remind me why I had to be nerfed
oh that's right
I'm suppose to think I deserve this
I'm suppose to be stronger after all this
i already am
a mess
Wiser, stronger, selfless most of the time
til I'm reminded, I'm not God
I am I, a human with wants and needs
Flesh, bones, organs to feed
Mind, body, soul and all
Stolen pieces and all
Emotional or emotionless
23
where's the fun at
what can we do my beloveds
anything for you all
I am your brother, uncle, friend, man
of extremity
